Pdoc says I need to take an LOA to get the med and my condition straightened out. I see this as goodness and badness.
I’m totally on board with needing to ramp up my med in as benign an environment as possible. Getting adjusted to medication is a large part of why I self admitted to the hospital last year. I can’t help but feel, however, that taking an LOA is in some way giving in – a milestone of some sort that will ultimately mean I can’t handle being a dynamic, high-powered career type anymore. That leads me to the real question: is it time to sing the requiem?
The more research I do, the more blogs I read the more it’s clear stress – especially job related stress – has a huge role to play in both triggering and managing bipolar disorder. Let’s face it, this bipolar stuff really isn’t anything new to me. I’ve been symptomatic since my late teens. The only difference between then and now is I’ve just got a new vocabulary. Have I been performing for the last 25 years? Hyper-performing? You betcha! But I can’t stop thinking about the poker factor. Are we given only so many ‘productive member of society’ cards and when we’ve played our hand is it time to fold and admit overachieving is paving the highway to hell?
Although LOA is protected under the Americans With Disabilities Act and FMLA I’m also concerned my job won’t be there when I get back. There’s no law that states my exact, same position has to be available to me. Only a comparable position when I return. LOA doesn’t grant one immunity from the pink slip, either. The icing on the job insecurity cake came the same day as doc suggesting the LOA. Seems the grand architect of the last layoff has been given a huge promotion and is now in the proverbial driver’s seat. More hatchet-ing will commence soon – stay tuned!
Well, so much for Dr’s Orders to go home, rest and stop worrying. Think I’ll just take a Xanax and contemplate it all again in the morning.