Normalcy

After reading a wonderful post by Sandy Sue on A Mind Divided about Normalcy, I started ruminating on how normalcy is somewhat lacking for me now and what effect it is having on my bipolar self.

There are many changes afoot right now.  My husband accepted a position overseas, so as I type, most of my belongings are on a boat en-route for Europe.  Along with this fabulous opportunity, however, comes a three-week separation of my family.  My son and I have remained in the US and are currently urban camping on the floor with mattresses, 4 pots and 4 forks at our disposal, etc.  While I am totally on board with this adventure we are embarking upon, there are still little things lacking in day-to-day life that quite unexpectedly are messing with my bipolarity.

One example I think most of us can relate to is the absence of a clock in every room, in their expected positions. I cannot tell everyone how many times I automatically glance up at the blanks wall, wondering if I am early or late, or will I be right on time.  Silly, yet frustrating at the same time. Then, there is the absence of my kitchen table. After two weeks I still lie in bed almost every morning (OK, so I’m in a drug fog that hasn’t cleared yet), and think about how nice it will be to have that morning cup of coffee and read my e-mail in the kitchen.  Not.  LOL  Just knowing the creature comforts of a clock and a table are there represent a sense of security and routine that we BPs are always told to create.  Something I am very much looking forward to getting back once my furniture, my son and I arrive at our destination.

The worst part of all is, of course, the separation of my family.  My husband had to go ahead to start his job this past Monday.  I put the dogs on a plane this Friday and then my son and I follow two weeks later.  This is what really messes with my bipolar self.  My whole nuclear family and support group is fractured during a stressful time.  Yes, I know it is for a predetermined period and it certainly isn’t close to forever. Yes, I have defaced my Buckingham Palace calendar with a Sharpe and turned it into a countdown calendar.

All told, I am so very grateful we are living such an amazing life.  It just all feels a bit odd right now…and I am laser-focused on that moment when the family is together again and the normalcy can continue.

Yes…talk about life changing events! We’ve known since the last week in April so I’ve had some time to put a plan into action to deal with it all. A lot of talk therapy and (yeah, I admit it) Xanax are in my survival kit. I’m sure you know that no matter how positive changes are, major ones can still throw you for a loop. It will all be good very soon. Thanks for the comment!

Holy Upheaval, Batman! I am *hugely* impressed by your seeming calm while your whole world spins. You’re so matter-of-fact about it all. No High Drama or All-or-Nothing thinking going on here at all. I’m sure there are moments, parts of days, that are incredibly hard. Please, please keep writing about this big shift in your life and how you deal with it. I think the stories will be *most* instructive.
(and thanks for that shout-out).

HI, Sandy Sue. Oh, I have my moments all right! I really have to credit my doc and therapist for helping keep it all in perspective. Med tweaks and lots of talk therapy are getting me through. I’ll certainly keep on writing – banging out what is going on in my head is the best therapy of all. I hope you are doing well yourself, it sounds like you’re in a bit of a slump. I’m pulling for you. Go to the Y and get rid of those cheese curls! Once you’re out of the cesspool you’ll be proud of yourself for having done so. 🙂

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