My Doctor is a Hoser

Cover of "Strange Brew"
Cover of Strange Brew

I’m sure all of you Strange Brew fans know exactly what I’m talking about.  Yeah, my doctor is a Hoser.  Or, it’s actually my psychiatrist intern who is on the line.

Today was my first face-to-face with her after being released from the bin.  I knew she was going to be extremely nice and polite during our appointment.  During my last appointment with my NP, I had the distinct impression The Hoser was in big trouble for letting me get to a state where I had to be admitted.  Especially after my NP asked me in a very direct manner how I felt treatment with The Hoser was progressing and if I had any complaints.

Long story short – a 30 minute appointment turned into 45 because she tried to make coffee for herself twice but got completely sidetracked by the coffee pad for the Senseo, the ‘bloody’ computer system is so confusing she can’t figure out how many refills of what I have left, flipping through her agenda (twice!) for our next appointment resulted in the discovery this is April and not May, and we spent a full five minutes where she asked me how she should go about following up with my treatment.  (No, really.  What should I do??)

Maybe this is really 3B Treatment – three beers and it looks good.

So, yeah.  Today was almost a cluster.  Except for one thing.  The best part was when the appointment was over and I was walking down the hall, away from the mental health wing to the main hospital.  That’s when I decided she is a Hoser.  And I had to bite my tong very hard to keep from laughing out loud.  A woman walking away from the Looney Wing, laughing to herself, is never seen as OK.  And that last thought made me want to laugh even harder.

Hey, you gotta take those laughs wherever you can get ’em, eh?

Darling. It sounds like somehow you must find another head-shrinker, because this one sounds as if her head has already been shrunk. Any interesting scars indicating previous pre-frontal lobotomy? Not a good sign.

Hah! No visible scars, but her eye sockets are pretty deep set. 🙂 Oh, that was bad! Sorry. Anyway, I did give my NP a call this morning. She said she was pretty much expecting the, “Can I change Dr’s?” question. All should be well by Tuesday. I hope.

Yeah, ‘organized’ is the key here. After a discussion with my NP this morning, I think I’m going to be passed to the head psych who oversees the interns. I’ve met and liked her. At least she could find her prescription pad when she needed it. 🙂

HAHAHAH! I knew you would get the film reference, Sandy! Drove my husband nuts last night. Every time he nagged me to have them find another doc for me, I told him to “Take Off!” I should be reassigned to a real shrink on Tuesday. Meanwhile, I’ll just load my Pez dispenser with Xanax and have a niiiiice weekend.

Have mercy. You made me laugh. I am a retired psych RN and I could relate to all that you wrote. One has to wonder how these yahoos and ding-a-lings ever made it out of med school and how in the world did they ever pass their boards? I don’t call them Hosers, I call them QUACKS! 🙂

PS I found your blog per WP’s suggested sites that I might like. So far I think I’m going to like you a lot.

Hi, there! Thanks so much for commenting – it’s great to have validation from within the mental health profession that, well, she is a quack/hoser! 🙂 Glad you had a laugh. I’m just hoping the head head shrink will turn out to be more competent when I see him in two weeks.

As a psych RN I bet you have some stories to tell! Have you ever blogged any of them?

Thank you for taking the time to reply. No, I have not blogged about any of my work. I’ve thought about it and just can not decide if that is the right thing to do. Of course names and such would be changed but so far I’ll probably stick with the nature and pet thing. I sometimes just write about little ole problems like losing a friend over crap she kept sending via email and computer problems. If you ever take the time to visit you’ll probably get a better feel of what I’m about via the replies to comments.

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